Hawaii Means Aloha: Kilohana and Kenny Live It Everyday

Kilohana works on feather lei (photo by Olivier Koning)

I was recently on vacation on the Big Island of Hawaii. While there, I met Kilohana and Kenny who own a small inn on the South Point of the island. They showed me how “Aloha” is more than just a word; it is a way of life. I asked Kilohana is he could share more about that with you. Here is the interview:

Can you give a little background about your life story (where you grew up, some things you’ve done and what you’re doing now)?

I was born in Kealakekua, Hawaii.  I am one of seven siblings.  My father was a ranch hand for Greenwell Ranch and we grew up in a house that the ranch owned.  We had access to ranch lands, meaning we could go fishing, hunting, camping, and exploring on many of the lands the ranch owned. Our lives were pretty simple getting meat from cattle and pigs that we either raised or helped slaughter.  Family also shared whatever they had too much of like tomatoes, fruit, and vegetables.  My grandfather fished by outrigger canoe and farmed taro on his land, while my grandmother wove lauhala into hats, mats, baskets and almost anything you could think of.

Kealakekua was a small town.  We lived near the Episcopal church below Konawaena School and dad used would practically go across the street to saddle his horse. Our grandparents lived for a time across the highway, just below us, in a building that my grandmother sold hats and woven lauhala products in her own store.  That building is now known for the souvenir shop, The Little Grass Shack in Kealakekua.

At 13, I went to Kamehameha Schools in Honolulu where I lived as a boarder and graduated from there in 1976. I have since lived in Honolulu, Alaska, on Maui, San Francisco and currently live at Ka Lae, South Point, on the Big Island of Hawai’i. I earned a Bachelors in Hawaiian Studies from the University of Hawai’i.

Hula, Hawaiian Studies, and the Hawaiian arts and crafts have always been a large part of my life. As an adolescent, the 70′s were a pivotal time in Hawaiian history.  Hokule’a sailed to Tahiti and back using the ocean currents, the stars, and winds as their guide.  The Hawaiian language joined English as an official language for the state and with that came immersion schools. Requirements in the school system asked that Hawaiian history and culture be a part of the school curriculum and protests against the Navy to stop the bombing of Kaho’olawe as target practice succeeded.

I got my BA from the University of Hawai’i in Hawaiian Studies and did some graduate school work in Pacific Island Studies.  I have worked in all aspects of the visitor industry from hotel, restaurant, museum, from dishwasher to accounting manager.  I was a visiting artist research fellow with the Smithsonian’s National Museum of the American Indian where I visited museums to view Hawaiian featherwork.

I currently own and run a bed and breakfast with my partner where we also incorporate cultural workshops for our guest.  As a native Hawaiian, my insight and perspective on Hawai’i help our guests’ experience a more connected view of Hawai’i and things Hawaiian.

Who was influential in shaping your beliefs about yourself?

My parents have influenced me greatly with their knowledge of music, of living simply and being comfortable with what we have. They have taught all of their children to be grateful for what you  have. My grandparents taught us that hard work brings results. We learned to take responsibility for what you say you will do –to follow through with your commitment.

My kumu (teacher) Robert Cazimero inspires me do well in everything. He inspires me to see the strengths in people and expects them to give their best.  He inspires creativity, style, and allows me to take opportunity where one is sometimes afraid to take a leap. His example of excellence encourages me to do likewise.

How have your beliefs influenced who you are today and how you choose to spend your time?

I choose to focus on being productive as well as take time for myself. I have an ingrained Hawaiian sense of beliefs where we look for what people have to offer. I think Hawaiians are generous in general, so I find myself ready to offer help, advice, and an ear to listen. I spend a lot of my free time working on new ideas with feather lei, or coming up with how to recreate something with a fresh perspective. I like to do fine handiwork like making feather lei, or understanding the dynamics of weaving materials together.

Was there a time when you held different beliefs than you do today, and if so, how did those beliefs change?

I am one of seven siblings so I had to stand up for myself amongst everyone. That familial position in the middle teaches you independence so I readily went for whatever I wanted to pursue. Going away to school was probably the first act of that because I knew then that would allow me to grow faster and give me more opportunities. It also threw me into a place where there were many paths to choose in a stimulating environment. One of those was the growing interest and pride in Hawaiian language, arts, history, and culture.  Those early years clearly directed where I am today.  It has nurtured my art as a lei maker with feather and flowers.  My desire to become fluent in Hawaiian also began then. My continued approach to life is based on my Hawaiian influences from my family and was refocused from being an adolescent during the the beginning of the renaissance of things Hawaiian in the ’70′s.

What is the most important belief you hold about your life?

That focusing on what you want is far superior than focusing on what you do not want. I have a couple of mantras that I like to refer to. One is “It’s all good” because it really all is good. We can always find the good in whatever we do, whomever we meet, and whatever happens. It changes your mindset to see what is good in others versus what we do not like. I also like to think that if you “take a leap, a net will appear”, because part of moving beyond what we do not know often reveals something wonderful and unexpected. A similar approach to my life is fear is fun in disguise.” Go ahead, and do it, and so what if the outcome wasn’t what you thought it would be? So you have to try another angle. No need to fret.

Who do you admire in your life or consider to be a role model?

As a Hawaiian, family is very important. That family includes, of course, your immediate family but it also includes those that are not related by blood. They can be and include, non-relatives, acquaintances, teachers, friends, and neighbors. I have belonged to a hula helau (school) for many years.  Every member of the helau is considered family to me. I worry when their loved ones are ill or when I haven’t seen someone in awhile. When I do see them after a long absence, we pick up the pieces wherever we’ve left off.

My parents have been good role models. I’ve also had a couple of teachers who have been models of how I would like to lead my life.  My kumu hula (hula teacher) is someone I really admire. His ability to do what he does –teaching us to dance, showing us how to enjoy life, his professionalism, great taste, positive and creative attitudes, healthy living, and lots of laughter and honesty; all of that rubs off. How can one not be excited if what you surround yourself with is the same excitement. Of course, lots of that is work. It is easy to say things, like “”I can’t do this” and “don’t that” but focusing on the other side is much more rewarding for all parties.

Do you consider yourself to be “extraordinary”?

I believe we all are here with something to offer. I don’t think I’m extraordinary but I do feel I’ve been given gifts. Some of those gifts are my comfort skills like music, language, artistic expression in lei or handiwork; but I can easily remind myself that others have talents in areas that I certainly know very little about. We each have gifts –it is sometimes difficult for some of us to see them and acknowledge them. One should use the gifts that we have.

How have your beliefs “come true” in your life? (Are there examples of “self-fulfilling prophecies” either positive or negative?)

I live a charmed life. I make a living as an innkeeper and it doesn’t feel like work. I get to do all the things I like to do including travel, meeting people, and being able to treat myself to special personal things. I am involved in the Hawaiian community with my artwork and hula and continue to nurture that passion. I’ve always included Hawaiian arts to be a part of my life and it currently has a big role in it. I thought that hula would go in one direction for me, but I am very happy with the fine tuning it took–a close look at the arts involved with it as a whole instead of solely focusing on the dance.

How have you been able to find the positive in your life? What impact has that had?

I’m so much better at it now. I think I may have been a little sarcastic when I was younger until I realized that it was turning against me. I have the benefit of a partner who helps us me see the strengths we each can offer. When you are surrounded by positive attitudes you can not help but have an easier time making decisions and having dialogue about whatever. Criticism becomes beneficial recommendations, and stubbornness becomes openness.

If you had one piece of advice for someone reading this interview, what would it be?

I don’t know all the answers but I’ve certainly learned to listen more. I think I learned early on that one should first love yourself and then the rest will follow.  It’s allowed me to listen to what people are saying including paying attention to what you yourself are saying too. I have not been one to voice an opinion articulately but I pay attention, listen, and observe before I share my view. Usually by then, I’ve had a moment to process my thoughts, so when I do have something to say, it will brief and to the point.

Favorite quote or other piece of inspiration that helps you through the “down times”?

Take a leap, and a net will appear.

It’s all good.

Time is your friend.

Fear is fun in disguise

Kilohana and Kenny, Kalaekilohana Bed and Breakfast

To find out more about Kenny and Kilohana, and Kalaekilohana Bed and Breakfast, please visit their inn website or their blog. And for a taste of the Real Hawaii at a luxury bed and breakfast and the Aloha Life, stay with them for a spell on the Big Island.