It amazes me in my life coaching practice how often I come across the following scenario:

Client: I’m feeling confused/angry/blocked/depressed because (insert circumstance here). I’ll never be able to change/finish this/move on/be happy/etc.

Me: There are a lot of tools out there that have worked for lots of people. Perhaps we can try some together?

Client: Well, we can try, but I’m not like other people. It won’t work for me. I’ve tried everything.

Me: Then, you’re right. It won’t work for you. Nothing will.

****

I was actually having a conversation with a close friend. We were talking about life coaching, therapy, psychology, and counseling. Self help in general, I guess. I told my friend that the purpose of all of these things is to reach a point where you no longer need them. My friend completely agreed with me. And then said, “But I’ve been through so much and I always have new circumstances that require me to stay in therapy basically for the rest of my life…. I do understand what you’re saying and I agree with you–for most everyone else, therapy is really meant to get someone to a point where they don’t need it. I’m just different.”

I about fell on the floor. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Did my friend just try to justify why life-long therapy was needed? Was my friend really that myopic to think that the “rules of life” didn’t apply in their life?

The truth is this:

You are not different from other people. You have the same feelings, desires, thoughts, emotions, habits, destructive behaviors, and positive realities as everyone else. Yes, you may have a different mix of them. And, yes, you are a unique individual–but your uniqueness comes in your ability to accept personal responsibility for your own life and to do something about it.

You do not get angrier than everyone else. You do not feel more depressed than anyone else. You do not suffer more difficult circumstances than everyone else. You feel the same joy, pain, peace, love, suffering, anger, envy, resentment that everyone else feels at some point or another.

I do not know of any professional public speaker who does not get a little nervous every time they get on stage.

In other words, the world does not revolve differently around you. When you look in the mirror at yourself naked, you see all of your faults. The reality is that everyone on the planet has the same “naked feelings”. We’re all naked.

The next time you feel, well, that what you are going through is completely unique. Think again. Someone has been down this road before, and it was not the end of the world for them. Instead, focus on the present moment, accept it as a precious gift, and then make the right choices to move on with your life.